


Inner Demons

by Pastelglitchesxx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Biromantic Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bisexual Meg Masters, Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Destiel - Freeform, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst and Humor, Loneliness, M/M, Mean - Meg x Dean, Megstiel - Freeform, Multi, Non-Binary Castiel (Supernatural), OT3, One Shot, Other, Polyamorous Dean Winchester, Polyamorous Meg Masters, Post-Canon Fix-It, Sexual References, Swearing, Transgender Dean Winchester, Transgender Meg Masters, Transgender Sam Winchester (mentioned), Transphobia, Trust Issues, Warning! self esteem issues, meanstiel, mental child abuse mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28025760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastelglitchesxx/pseuds/Pastelglitchesxx
Summary: Dean rolled his eyes.Cas continued regardless. "What is your real name?"Meg froze.Or, the one where Meg's partners wonder what her original (demon) name is, and she comes out as a trans woman.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg Masters, Castiel/Meg Masters/Dean Winchester, Meg Masters/Dean Winchester, Past Meg Masters/Ruby/Bela Talbot (briefly mentioned)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	Inner Demons

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah the destiel crackpit swamp that has been tumblr lately pulled me back into being Meanstiel trash. Luckily I actually have the resources to create content for 'em now. Enjoy
> 
> Oh and I want to make it clear that "Dorothy" is not Dean's deadname. There's no deadnames in here. It's just a nickname, that he consents to. Onward

The quietness stretched out before them as their discussion drew to a hushed close. After a moment of silence, Cas leaned closer to Dean. “Well, are you going to ask her?” 

“What?” Dean’s gaze snapped to him. He tried to whisper as bitterly as he could without raising his voice. “I’m not asking her!” 

“Why not?”

“Cas, you can’t just go around—” 

“Meg?” Cas called out. 

The demon who had been brought back by Jack didn’t look at them. She was sitting on the couch in front of them while Dean and Cas loitered on stools on the opposing wall. She occupied the left seat all to herself, barely paying mind to the show that worked as white noise to her. She had just set down a plate full of microwaved drumsticks that she’d drowned in barbecue sauce. Now, she was sucking it off her fingers. At any other time, Dean might have considered this hot, but his crude girlfriend was sloppily cleaning the crumbs off her face and grossly smacking her lips. She released her finger with a wet _pop._

Somehow, even with the scene before him, Meg could always manage to make herself sound cool and superior. It was a trait that had drawn Dean to her. 

“Yeah, Dorothy?” That, and her seasoned skills with eavesdropping. “You gonna let me in on what you two’ve been whispering about?”

Dean rolled his eyes. Cas continued regardless. “What is your real name?” 

Meg froze for a moment, then rigorously went back to cleaning her fingers off. She whipped her hands on her jeans, and turned to smirk back at her boys. Well, _boy_ and angel. “Why does it matter?” She asked, casually snickering at them. The side of her nose scrunched up from the dimples of her half-smirk.

Dean scoffed. “Well, there’s this thing in relationships, called _trust.”_

Meg gave an exaggerated gasp, like, _how, wow, really?_ She expected him to find it funny—banter was their love language, after all—but his gaze only hardened. She hmm-ed to herself, noting it inside her mind, and looked away again. 

“You say you love us, but how can we know it’s true, huh?” yelled Dean, rubbing his hands together as if \restless. “We don’t even know your actual name!” 

Her lips perked up in a small smile. “Would you believe me if I said it was really Meg Masters? I mean, what a _coincidence_ I _happen_ to possess someone with the _exact_ same—” 

“Megan.” Cas deadpanned, his voice turning to stone. 

“See, right, Megan!” Dean gestured to Cas. “That’s not even your real name! We just use it for effect!” 

Meg scoffed. “I like the drama _Megan_ brings to the table, Dean. Maybe that’s my real name!” 

“It _isn’t,”_ Dean growled.

“Maybe I want it to be!” Meg hissed. She didn’t realize how low and unsteady it sounded until it came out. 

Cas waited to see if Dean would snap back. When he didn’t, Cas sighed to himself and looked Meg in the eyes. The angel’s eyes always had an extra shine that humans couldn’t reciprocate. Like he was a unicorn compared to normal people. Meg wondered if he saw only darkness in her eyes, no gleam or twinkle or color. Nothing that could give her away. In the end, isn’t that what got her killed? She was so good at keeping a straight face, people saw right through it. 

Why did she expect the guys who claimed to love her to be any different? _Expectations, expectations._ Maybe it had been a hope instead. Whatever it was, it was quickly culled, and stuffed so deep from Meg’s mind that even she wouldn’t know she was lying when she flashed a big smile and said it was _fine_ when they left her.

“Look, Megan, you don’t have to tell us if you are not comfortable. We love you regardless.” Cas placed a gentle hand on the hunter’s knee. “Dean was just curious.” 

“No, I— She can’t even be herself around us, Cas!” Dean’s eyes were switching rapidly between his two partners. “I mean, why get into a fucking—what are we calling ourselves, a throuple?” He shook his head. “Why get into a throuple if you don’t trust them?!” 

Meg laughed. “I think this is more about your trust than mine.” 

Dean’s eyes snapped wide. “That’s not true,” he stated flatly, something desperate slipping into his words; Meg hadn’t heard him talk like that since they came out. It had been confusing and stressful, and then one day she’d just grabbed them and gave each a kiss. That had called the quits on the awkward before-phase. Ever since then, it’d been more or less simple. Casual, even!

Coming out hadn’t really affected the non-humans as much as it did Dean, though. Meg didn’t believe in that whole _‘ladies don’t kiss and tell’_ thing, and it’s not like she’d never been in a triad before. She had the marks from Ruby and Bela to prove so. Meanwhile, Cas didn’t quite have a hold on how strange modern humans think polyamory is or that they immediately associated it with orgies. That type of thing was hard to grasp for a polyamorous, asexual heavenly being. 

But Dean was one of those humans. It was harder for him to accept himself, harder to not succumb to guilt or the shame. Peer pressure was a fascinating thing. On one hand, John Winchester’s sexism pressured Dean and Sam into acting like boys; on the other, they realized they really were boys, and without that special type of brainwashing abuse it was hard to say whether they would have come to terms with their gender identity. The only reason Johnny had accepted them was because hunting was a boys club, and having sons meant there was somebody to pick up the mantle.

Men were weird like that. 

It surprised Meg how much humans could capture her interest. Their entire philosophy could be summed up was ‘ _task failed successfully.’_

And she fucking loved it.

“It sort of is about your trust issues as well.” Cas shrugged his hands. “At least partially.”

 _“I—!”_ Dean flushed in anger and folded his arms, silently stewing in place. Meg’s casual smile fell and she glared back at the TV, huffing to herself. Cas glanced back and forth between them for a moment that seemed to stretch into an eternity. She wanted to take his hand and tell him neither of them were up for talking it out, that they should tuck it away until Cas wasn’t forced to act as their mediator. It was a fight between the human and his she-demon, it didn’t have to involve him. He shouldn’t have to reel them in all the time. 

Meg exhaled, but she was as still as a statue. 

Cas resided watching the show. 

In the silence, there was a pit in Meg’s stomach. Her thoughts were slow but not steady, like a quiet voice in her ear. She imagined her inner demon, herself, bursting out in laughter once she revealed the truth. It would point at her and cackle and she would be left alone with it, with just herself, like she’d always been.

She was a fool to think anything had changed. Meg was the only one who would ever have her own back. Dean had let her fucking die, after all. Did they ever come back for the body? Did they bury her? Were tears shed for her? No. She’d risked everything for them. And she was nothing but a fucking footnote in their story.

It sounded like the start of some stupid joke. _A human, an angel, and a demon move into a bunker._ Not all demons are assholes, you know. Just because everyone thought she was, it didn’t mean it was true.

She thought they loved her, _all_ of her. Even the parts that were dark and bitchy and ugly. Whatever ugly even meant, the definition always fluctuated with humans. She may have the body of one, but wasn’t no fucking human. Didn’t Dean understand that? For a guy who spent his entire life preaching her kind’s extinction, he knew the bare minimum of what they were.

Maybe no one can truly love a lesser devil. Maybe demons just couldn’t see eye to eye with man. God, what was she thinking? 

Dean moved his arms to his side and then placed his palms on his knees. He had calmed, and the show had managed to get his attention, even mildly.

Eventually, Meg’s breathing hitched, and she shook her head. “It’s not that I don’t trust you boys,” she said reluctantly. She still couldn’t meet their eyes. “I’m just not into my original name. It’s simple.” 

Dean squinted. “That’s it?” 

“Oh, come on!” Meg threw her hands in the air. “If Castiel can go by Cas, then why can’t I pass as Meg?” 

Dean offered her an uneasy chuckle. “What, is your real name weird or something?”

“It’s not my real name!” Meg finally roared as she harshly gripped the cushions. Suddenly she found herself on her feet, stomping closer to Dean as her eyes bled to darkness, but she stayed at least five feet away from him. She growled and hissed, shaking her head wildly. In an instant, Cas was off his chair, and there were warm arms thrusting her into a tight hug. 

Dean flashed to her side, awkwardly standing right next her, not really knowing what to do. “Hey, hey, it’s—” For a second, Meg thought he was reaching for a stake, but he helplessly fumbled with his hands. “Shit, Meg, I don’t care about it, alright?! Just, please, fucking come back!” 

At his words, she forced herself to cover her eyes and breathe. When her hands left her face, her eyes fluttered open, back to its usual brown. She glared at them again. Cas lessened his grip and took one hand back, but kept Meg under his chin with his arm around her shoulder. Meg went to say something, but Dean put his hand over her mouth. 

She blinked at him weirdly, muffling let a silented, _“what… the fuck?”_

“Just… go with it.” Cas kissed her forehead. 

Dean sighed and moved to caress her cheek. “I meant it, alright? If it’s enough to freak you out, then I get it. You don’t gotta tell, I would… I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to do.” His hand returned to his side. Meg found herself moving closer to him as it retracted, but stopped herself. “So, uh, let’s just watch this episode, alright? Together. I can get the popcorn.” 

Meg considered him for a long, uncomfortable moment. The line of her lips perked downwards in a half-frown. Her eyes squinted and she glared at him, almost accusatory. Dean wondered if she would call him a liar, or if she was about to make out with him. It was hard to tell with Meg Masters. 

“... That name?” She said through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to say it because you would have recognized that it didn’t add up.” 

Cas was the only one who didn’t get defensive. “What do you mean?” 

Meg turned her back on them. She reached at the table and clicked off the TV, the white noise disappearing from their ears. She shuddered a slight at the sudden silence suffocating the room. Either her boys didn’t feel it, or they didn’t say anything. 

Meg took in one gulp of air, and went off. “It’s no secret angels don’t have a binary, right? That ain’t the case with demons. We’re created out of tortured human souls, so usually, we’re not non-binary unless that human is. And Dean, sweetheart, you were so fucking deep in the closet for so, so long. Hell, you were still there when that bitch Crowley killed me!” 

Dean’s gaze fell to the ground. He grumbled quietly, but didn’t interrupt her. Cas put his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“And then when Jackie brought everyone-everyone back and woke me up to help get Clarence out of The Empty, you guys were suddenly making out!” Meg shook her and Castiel’s tangled fingers. “I always thought you were into each other, but I didn’t think it would actually happen. I owe Ruby 20 bucks, you know! A-and then Cas was still into me, and then you got into me, and, shit, it was a lot to take in! Fuck, I thought that if—if you knew, then you wouldn’t, like, uh…” 

Her voice got squeaky and she clumsily brushed her hair out of her face, _“Like_ me anymore.” 

“K-knew what?” Dean stammered with a strange glare. “What’s going on here?” 

Meg shook her head. “Whatever, fuck it, I’m already a demon in a woman’s body, and if you’re still into that, so I hope it doesn’t matter to you—” 

Cas licked his lips. “I don’t understand.” 

“Hey, I’m getting there, okay!” Meg went quiet. “Actually, that’s all I had to say. Here it goes, I guess.” She took Dean’s hand in her own. “Dean, Cas, that human soul I popped out from? She thought she was a guy. She wanted to believe it so, so bad, because that would make life so much easier. She couldn’t accept that she was a trans woman.” 

Meg let them go. ““Like me. I’m trans.”

After a moment, Cas gave a single nod. “Alright. Cool.”

“That’s— that’s it?”

“While I understand that this is a part of your identity, learning this does not change my feelings for you. It, in fact, makes me love your bravery even more.” He blinked. “That being said, I’m utterly indifferent to gender identity.”

“God, that’s exactly what I hoped you’d say, you beautiful fucking unicorn!” Meg laughed, and pulled Cas into a hug. He stood there while she wrapped herself around him. He patted her back and murmured, “there, there.” Meg smirked up at him and grabbed his ass. 

He glared at her. “Megan.” With a fond roll of her eyes, she pressed him into a messy kiss.

Pathetically, the only thing Dean could think of was a meme.

Fortunately, that’s exactly the type of thing Meg expected from him.

“That’s poggers,” he murmured.

Meg snorted. “That’s the non-binary one, you fucking moron!” 

Dean turned to Cas. “That’s poggers.”

Meg could feel the bop of Cas’s chin on her head as he nodded solemnly. “Thank you.” 

Meg bursted into a cackle and hit Dean’s shoulder with her fist. He finally smiled and put his shoulder around her, blowing a raspberry on her cheek.

“Solidarity!” He shouted with a grin. Their free hands whacked at each other. When Dean went to pull away, Meg stole a quick kiss, leaving him red.

There was a hot edge to her tone, breathless and happy and ignorant and mixed with something non-kid friendly. That was their girl. “Fuck, that was a lot less dramatic than I thought it would be.”

“Coming out usually is,” Cas said.

“Agreed.” Dean chuckled. “Literally everyone guessed I was bi. Sammy knew it before I did.”

“To be far, Samtholomew isn’t as homophobic as you were.” Meg pitched his cheeks. “Little brother had time away from your daddy dearest. College is where you experiment, you know.” 

“Maybe we would have gotten together sooner if you had gone to college,” Cas bit.

Dean’s brows knitted. “Maybe we would have gotten together sooner if you told me how you felt!”

“Maybe we would have gotten together sooner if you had properly communicated that despite your uncomfortability with your own sexuality you weren’t homophobic.” 

“To—fucking—uché!” Dean replied.

“Play nice, boys.” Meg pulled on both their ears. Dean waved her off and Cas stiffly removed her fingers from him. 

She grabbed them by their hands and dragged them back to the couch, practically throwing them at each other. The TV turned back on with a click. She hopped on the cushion next to Dean and curled up to his side, bringing her knees halfway toward her chest and pulling his arm around her torso. In a single motion, Cas abruptly thud his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean chuckled and shrugged him closer as he wrapped his arm around the angel. Meg searched for Cas’s hand and quickly found it at Dean’s lap, and tangled their fingers.

“May I ask,” questioned Cas, “if you wanted a louder reaction?”

“I didn’t _want_ one,” Meg barked out. She blinked, only processing what came out of her mouth after the fact. She realized that it had been a long time since she made that decision. The words came tumbling out quicker than she could build a path for them. “But I just— I’ve learned to expect it, I guess. Don’t get me wrong, demons are shameless, but that also means they have no problem misgendering me. It doesn’t even matter if they’re trans, too. We find any insecurity and exploit it to the fullest. It’s how we get the upper hand. How we survive.”

A slow, _delicious_ smile curled on her lips. “We’re hypocrites like that, y’know. _Demons…_ are _assholes.”_

Dean quirked his head. “Not all of them.”

Meg put her hand over her mouth. “Oh, how dare you,” she gasped dramatically. He snorted and it got a smirk from her. She quickly turned to kiss him. Breathing in his laughter, Meg knew they were going to be okay.

They could feel Cas watching them. 

The two shared a mischievous look, and pounced, drowning their boyfriend in kisses.

Meg giggled to herself. _A human, an angel, and a demon move into a bunker..._

**Author's Note:**

> <3 can you tell I'm still better over how they all died? :)
> 
> Edit: changed the name from tell the truth and shame the devil to this because fuck you that's why


End file.
